When I was lost
I sought refuge
In the rain
Engulfed in frost
In a deluge
Of hail and pain

Never understood
Now stinging
The sensations
So alike my mood
Now I hear the singing
Of deathly manifestations

Pulling away
From magnetic memories
That threatens to hurt
Remember the days
When fantasies
Lived but just too curt

Who can ever forget?
Sorry, remember
The day I died?
Now just an empty socket
Getting sadder
Lucky you’re by my side


Just thought I'd publish this poem I wrote when I was in secondary school.

Anorexia and bulimia is said to be the most socially unambiguous psychological disorders yet explored. What hurls so many people into a fatiguing and death-seeking routine of semi-starvation or vommiting?

A simple answer, for the young women especially, looking good is more vital than being healthy. They go to all sorts of extremes to perfect their imperfections. Our imperfections are the ones that sets us apart from everyone else. It's to be different.

It's already stated or let say predetermined in our genes that we all can't act the same, look the same and be the same. We have different proteins made at different times and speeds. We can possibly clone ourselves and perfect ourselves from a standpoint. it still wouldn't be us being the 'slimmer' or 'sexier' one. It'll still be our clone. Not us.

Let's take plastic surgery for an instance. We can date this back to 660BC. Surprised?
In 660BC, mind you, a Hindu surgeon performed a nose job by using a piece of a cheek. And after that in 1000AD there was another nose job done by using the forehead's skin. This clearly exemplifies that we humans have been consistently through the sands of time, trying to find ways to perfect ourselves so that the society will them be able to accept them under its srutinizing eye.

Concepts of ideal weight have been shown in numerous paintings throughout the world, throughout time.


Classic beauty of the 19th century



The 21st Century beauties...or should i say, hotties...


Our perception of beauty has changed. A great deal.

We have let the desire to be beautiful blind us.
The women in famous Rennaisance paintings several hundred years ago would have been the beauty queens at their time, but in this century those poor women might have been these victims of bulimia, anorexia or even plastic surgery.

We women have to fight the agitation, the agony, the humiliation of not conforming to the eyes of the society. If we can defeat the conformist attitudes of society, if we can stand up to our rights, if we can accept our bodies for what they are, if we pay no heed to discouragement, if we can cling on to what we believe in, if we don't get perturbed by other people's views, if...

We will then become the women that centuries of women have battled to be.
Women who can look into the mirror and feel confident, instead of pinching parts where the adipose tissues are visible. Women of worth, women who are individualistic and most importantly women of substance.

"You laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."

1. How tall are you?
- 158

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
- you can smoke heroin?

3. Do you own a gun?
- hmm..when time deems it

4. Rehab?
- Almost..haha..kiddin

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the
parents"?
- no la.. nervous to meet my friends parents? for what?

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
- disgusting!- Did you know that all parts of the chicken are thrown into the grinder? eg. eyes, butt, skin, head.. just to name a few

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
- all i want for christmas is you

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
- water

9. Do you do push-ups?
-yea

10. Have you ever done ecstacy?
- learning how to make it

12. Do you like painkillers?
- nah, it's not good for your body.. slowens your nervous processess

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the
opposite sex?
- that, is a secret just like the weapon itself ;)

14. Do you own a knife?
- yea.. penknife

15. Do you have A.D.D.?
- i think you must have meant anti-diuretic hormone.. yea i do

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
- hip hop
- this survey
- track pants

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought.
- some top
-story book
- ice cream soda

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
- ice cream soda
- soya bean
- milo
- tea
- water!

20. What time did you wake up today?
8.20am

21. Current hair?
-my hair's weird.. straight and curly and wavy

23. Current hate?
- chores

24. Favorite places to be?
- many la

25. Least favorite place to be?
-dunnoe

26. Where would you like to go?
- greece

27. Do you own slippers?
- Duh-uh

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
- US of A

29. Do you burn or tan?
-tan

30. Last thing you ate?
-nuggets

31. Would you be a pirate?
- hey not a bad idea..

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
-er.. that's sip of chivas which pronounced to be revolting

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
- haha..many and all different

34. What did you fear was going to get you at
night when you were a child?
- no idea..

35. What's in your pockets right now?
- no pockets

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
- haha..something krishna said bout shanthini

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
-yea..this blue blankie.. dunnoe where is it..hai..

38. Worst injury/scar you've ever had?
- riding my bicycle into a drain.. where i still have the scars on my fingers, knees, toes and shin

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
-2 and does a projector count?

42. Who is your most silent friend?
- haha..his name starts with s

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
-how would i noe?

44. Do you wish on stars?
- YA!

45. What is your favorite book?
- can't show favouritism

46. What is your favorite candy?
- gummies!

47. What song do/did you want played at your
wedding?
- -things i'll never say by avril lavigne..hhaa

48. What song do you want played at your
funeral?
- haha.. Don't ya by pussycat dolls

49. What were you doing 12AM last night?
-asleep

50. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings?
-haven't tried.. so can't say..but one on the anke'd be way cool

Recently I espied on some blogs and they chafed me.
Especially the ultra emotional ones.
The stories they spin or recount(i doubt so) in their blogs has this certain crescendo of sadness where the reader almost, just almost, becomes blinded with pathos.

The anti-climax part follows in the next line where they say " I can't be bothered with this shit situation"(boo hoo!) or "I'm never gonna talk about this again" or "I'm not gonna let myself be affected by all this" bla bla bla...and the list goes on!( so why the fuck talk about it then?) And did you realise that they all mean the same? gosh...
(Me to irrational/emotional baggage blogger's brain: yoo hooo... WHERE ARE YOU?
irrational/emotional baggage blogger's brain: Shhh! I'm hiding from my master<...how clever>)

And the the most irksome of all is that the next entry of theirs is a continuation of the sob story which they "didn't wanna talk about". It's a never-ending spiel, trust me.
Come on la.. get a grip.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to contradict yourself.. but just don't do it so unsubtley. People do contradict themselves at times, but the emphasis is on the word AT TIMES.

-->To those guilty of the above mentioned find yourselves a straitjacket - there's more restraint in there. I hope.

Any nice movies to watch?
Suggestions anyone?
I'm bored...

signed?- she must have her signature moves
sealed? - what..a virgin?!...get outta here..no way
delivered? - whereabout?... climaxed?
I'm yours? - so after that she became his..ha!.. i see the BIG picture now.

Sorry people.. was just listening to this song and was wondering what it meant and might mean..

Anyways...
Understatement of the day( thus far.): boring

Shit! Running late!...have to meet raja and karthik at northpoint for lunch..

later!

Agni 2006.

1. Agni was blast, but only comparatively to Puyal. The latter was, need I say, simply B O R I N G.

2. It was way crowded. They couldn't even accomodate people who had already bought the ticket way before. Eg. A friend of mine came in late, around 7.30 and when he went in there were no more seats left. Irritated, he confronted the people at the reception and asked for a refund. Not surprisingly, there said they couldn't give a refund. They sold more tickets than they could accomodate? Or maybe the security wasn't tight enough that many came in for free.. So, in the end, my friend and his friends had to sit on the steps. funny though.. haha

3. Something was definitely wrong with the judging(criteria?) in the dance segment.

Here's my take on it...

RJ- Comprehensive introduction with flowery words. Costumes were so-so. Dancing overall was so-so too except for maybe some abstract portions where only one person performed well(center one).
Entertainment value: 6/10

YJ- Evident that most could dance well. Nice costumes. Dance steps were creative and well displayed. Some minor glitches.
Entertainment value: 7.5/10

NY- Synchronised movements. Great costumes. All could dance well. But ain't that dance all too familiar? (i'm thinking... Puyal o6?). More than semi-classical. Celestial wonders?
Entertainment Value: 6/10

SR- There wasn't much flow. Costumes were not bad. Some good dancers there. Their energy was definitely evident.
Entertainment value: 6.5/10

4. Looking at no.3 it doesn't coincide with the ACTUAL results( in order of merit)- RJ, NY, YJ and SR. So now you know... :) Maybe I don't know how the dance groups were judged, but looking at it from all angles I would say besides the symbolism(adherence to the supposed theme) of the dance itself, entertainment value is the one that counts the most...but no.. not the kind of entertainment that includes pants slipping and etc.

5. I'm not biased. Many people were shocked with the results.. if you think the results were unquestionable... snap back to reality! (I support CJ by the way. lol.)

6. Tickets were definitely overpriced. $11?!!!! wtf? To look at a stage with no curtains for more than 3 hours! Excrutiating. The auditorium's size ins't half as big and lookable as SP's Convention Centre where Puyal was held. And how much did the latter(once again) charge? $10 and that too came with a goodie bag with some non-essentials, a chic paper bag, a pen and a bottle of water. It's like 4 : nothing.
Just in case you were thinking why I purchased the tickets if i am here complaining about the price... Shanthini's constant persuasiveness to come support her made me do so.

7. At least there was relatively way more humorous humor and better casting crew.

8. Show was too long(no intermission).. but hey, it's a competition.

please read this:
--->Remember, I can say whatever I feel like here cos I'm entitled to my own opinions. Moreover, the famous saying comes into play now "IT'S MY BLOG!". If you feel otherwise/offended, get a blog! if you haven't got one. Shoo! Shoo!... Go bitch there.

Danielle Panabaker Krsitin Kreuk

hmmmm..bus shot.. no.. not bust

this is what many people do when they are really bored...

sooo...kaypoh!

taking a pic of myself?

Apprehension to the fullest.

Heart richocheting at a speed unknown.
Stomach a bottomless pit.
Bile inching up the oesophagus.
Insomnia.

Warning: If you experience these symptoms please feel free to call MOE and they will give you the answers you need.

Suggested prescription: Overdose of sleeping pills that will hold you up to about 1 pm 1st of March 2006.